On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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