remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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