So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
