Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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