it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
