went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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