Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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