he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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