shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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