Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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