you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
