I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
