your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
