ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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