Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
