so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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