STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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