dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
