I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
