then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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