i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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