I heard we made out
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
