I'm really into asian looking animals
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I want to be your penis for a week.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
