so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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