Ketchup is God's man juice
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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