Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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