Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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