All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
