we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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