Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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