so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
