WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
