doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
