scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
