Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
