I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
