I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
