So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
