She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
