i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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