last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
honey bunches of taint.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
