I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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