I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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