Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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