And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
