She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
