oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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