I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
