thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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