one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
